Not For Sissies

Wanda Nelson writes:

I, hereby, wish to inform you that old age is not for sissies. It akes a great deal of effort, good genes and healthy living to become old, and when we arrive there, we sometimes, suddenly, find that we are unnecessary. With ouir tender, loving care, our children have grown into responsible adults with careers and families of their own, and they no longer want us on a daily basis. Many of my friends have moved away or passed away. Life changes radically. This crossroad can be a confusing, lonely journey as we ponder what we can do to make life worth living and interesting again. I believe this stage of life needs passion and purpose with challenge, contribution and community or we are in danger of emotional and psychological deterioration. It is important to make a contrbution to the world, even if it is only a small one. I am also convinced that the moment we give up our dreams or the fight, we begin to die whether we are eighty or twenty. I needed to find something with purpose that I could feel passionate about.

After redoing the house, installing new windows, adding safety features, and clearing out clutter, I found that I was left with piles of memorabilia, home movies, old photos, and a box marked "Thomspon/Stanley Family." There was a similar box marked "Herb's Family Stuff," which my husband had left for me to deal with, and yet another that said "Mom's Papers." I, instantly, became the family historian-genealogist with the help of a Fifty-Plus class called: "Beginning Genealogy." There I met other people with imilar interests and I found friends with whom I could compare notes and travel to Salt Lake City each year to do even more family research. This new passion involved travel, research, writing, meeting new people and new familiy members as well as learning more and more about my computer. As my community contribution, I became the secretary of the local genealogy society and expanded my social circle even more. My resarch proved that I came from intelligent, hard working people I could be proud of, and that I had many new "cousins" out there who were anxious to know me and hear my fmaily stories. I found a purpose and a passion. I had something to offer.

Writing my family story made me realize that I needed to begin by writing my own personal story. I enrolled in the Fifty-Plus "Writing Your Memoirs" class to get started. I am still there as this class has become a personal support group for me. It stimulates and structures my thought process and awakens some of my own buried memories as I listen to the life stories of others in the group. Most of my personal memoires are interlaced with family stoies, and they are my life expeiences to leave as a legacy for future generations of family as to what life was about as I lived it. This experience is revealing. It proved to me that I had led a much more interesing life than I first believed. That improved my self esteem. I have shared some of these stories wtih nieces and nephews who thanked me for my contribution to their knowledge of fmaily history and the world of my time. I feel fulfilled. I foudn more purpose and passion.

In addition, I have taken computer classes and for seniors that expanded my knowledge of technology and gave me confidence in this new twenty-first century world. That transition has not been easy for me. The exercise classes proved to be a fascinating experience. The QiGong class for healing body, mind and spirit came came at a time when I needed all of these things to keep me healthy and nimble.

Life is good. As Dylan Thomas said:

Do not go gentle into that good night
Old age should burn and rave at close of day.